A day in my head

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 04:11:36 GMT

I had the most wonderful time this weekend. I miss you like crazy already.

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 03:44:18 GMT

So I was happy today, Shanon called me, though it was 6:56 am to wish me good morning and say he missed me...isn't that cute :)

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 08:17:43 GMT

I know that it seems like all I do is talk about Shanon in my journal, but right now he is what occupies a lot of my mind space. Tonight he asked me if I would help him with job hunting once he figures out what he wants to do. And then we talked about him living down here and if he got a job when he had to be away I would be in charge of the household, and if he moved outta the state about taking me with him. And hell we even talked about marriage and kids. Things have been taking some seriously weird turns lately, not in a bad way, just wow. Oh ya, and he put my picture on the mantel, how cute is that, even if it is 4 years old, but he likes it.

On a REAL shitty note, tomorrow is Scotts last day on the outbound, that makes me very sad.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 07:56:26 GMT

Tryin to get to sleep here, but it's just not working. Probably because I just got home from being with Shanon and we all know how that goes for me these days. It usually means I can't sleep, or it will take me for fucking ever anyways. Oh well. I wish Friday would hurry up and get here so I can have lunch with my bestest friend. Oh ya I forgot to tell my good news. I got my money back from the damn robber, he confessed to doing it and so Mom and I got our money back. That was great! To bad the news paper article got EVERYTHING wrong...lol it was kinda funny though. Well, I guess enuff of my boring tangents here.

Life

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 03:41:08 GMT

Someone stop the world, I want off. I am so tired, and I can't sleep, that's all I really want is to sleep, I can't even take a goddamn nap. To much stuff, school, work, robber, Shanon not being here with me...I think it's just a combination of all of these things, but I really don't know. ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 04:03:06 GMT

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

Could it get any worse?

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 07:24:08 GMT

Could today have possibly gotten any worse? I failed my test at school, get home a half an hour before I have to go to work and Paul tells me that a robber was in the house and he caught him still in the house. They broke in through my bedroom window, ripped up my entire room, and stole all the money that I had saved for Shanon and I, went into my parents room, and that's where he was when Paul came home. That in it's self was enough to make me call Shanon bawling my eyes out. Paul ended up having a struggle with this guy, got his car keys, then the guy when to the trunk to pull something out, Paul gave him back his keys because he thought it was gun, turns out it was a machetie....even better. Well, he got the license plate number and called 911. They did end up catching this guy within an hour, but he didn't have all my money on him, and who know's if I will even get it back. So, this nasty mohawk motherfucker was in my room, touched all my stuff, including every piece of clothing I own, even my underwear, and he stole my money and he spent it and now I don't even want to go in my room. My mom did spend all night cleaning everything while I was at work, but I am staying the night at grandmas where I am safe and no strange intruder has touched my bed or anything. Shanon did try very hard to make me feel better though, he took me to dinner and even tried to win me stuffed animals outta one of those crane machines. It was cute, and it meant alot too.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 08:06:58 GMT

Another evening, another night alone. Oh well, I guess I need to suck it up, it's a while until May. The shitty thing is it's all comming together finally. How can timing be so bad and so good at the same time? I am not liking this whole testing thing, I think God has tried me enuff here. I don't know how all of a sudden you decided to show me that you really did care, cause now I am more in love with you than ever and more scared then ever about you being gone some day because you wanna move on to something different. So everything seems to have changed, but when you get restless are you gonna take me to? Ugh.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 07:42:13 GMT

I am not sure I can make it until May. I am tired of leaving u every night, especially after talking tonight.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 08:20:51 GMT

I have the cutest boyfriend ever! He called me every day this weekend while he was fishing with his buddies. Things have really changed between us, and it's really nice. I finally told Paul how old Shanon is, he actually didn't have problem with it, I was glad about that one. So now I just need to find out when Shanon wants to meet the family...YIKES. Grandpa even asked me today when he was going to meet him. I sure do love that man though.

To my suprise

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 22:45:18 GMT

I was on my way home from walmart this evening and my phone rang, to my favorite tune: That's a Big 10-4 on ur phone ringin'. I quickly answered, and yes it was my favorite person on the other end. He called just say hi and to talk for a minute, he was on his way back to camp. No fish yet, but he's gonna call tomorrow and let me know. I sure do love that man.

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 08:15:16 GMT

I sure do miss you...

Can you believe some people!

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 02:34:39 GMT

So, Shanon and I were sitting talking last night when he brings up the picture that I gave him. He says: 'I can't find it anywhere.' He never loses anything, let alone something that I gave him. So he says: 'You know me, I never lose anything. It was in my log book and I never took it out.' I was thinking this was kinda weird.so I told him that I would try and find another one for him. Then he says he knows what really happened to it. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS! He was over at Lynn's and she got into his log book and took it. WTF. What is this ladies problem. Ugh, I so not pleased with this what-so-ever. I hope I run into her while I am in Cadillac in a couple weeks.

Bitches

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 06:02:31 GMT

I remember why I don't like having female friends...I can't stand the attitudes and the bullshit. I mean, what the hell is there to get pissy about the fact that I am just leaving Meijer with my mom, I mean seriously. I am not here to entertain anyone but myself. So yep, I didn't call and I didn't go. Get urself out of all ur own messes tonight sweetheart.

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 07:36:49 GMT

is it monday yet...I just left u and I miss u already!

Soul Baring

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 08:23:29 GMT

Tonight Shanon bared so much to me about his childhood, and what makes him how he is now, how he's trying to changed. It makes me wanna cry how people could do some of the things that they did to my baby. I wish I could take all that pain away...

I am so excited

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 18:03:37 GMT

So the best thing happened last night! Shanon invited me up to Cadillac the second weekend in October to his new house. He got a cottage on Lake Mitchell. Now if that isn't awesome. He also talked about meeting my parents, which I really want to happen, but a little nervous about Paul. He doesn't know he's so much older than me. Not that I care. And then we got to talkin about money and he said something about a bill he's been paying off for a cpl years. And I said what was that? And his response was u'll see...hmmm a little strange, but not going to read to much into it. Makes me wonder though. So ya, I am so excited.

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 07:29:55 GMT

I saw Shanon tonight, after a WAY to long holiday weekend. He was having a crabby day, but not to me. It seems to be a common theme as of late. I'm crabby, Manda's crabby, hell we're all crabby! It's all good though. He really liked my hair, I was glad. I really can't believe how much I miss him these days when he is gone. It's kinda scary.

I am slightly irritated

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 06:30:04 GMT

I emailed Tim tonight so I could see how much I still owed him for the car, even though I already know. I just wanted to check. Well, he said I owed him $100 more than what I do. Now I am waiting for him to get back at me. I am not paying him more than I owe, though I am sure he just made a mistake. So I looked in all my check book duplicates and found all the checks that I had sent him and the date, so I sent them to him. I hope he gets it figured out. GRRRR No more buying of things from Kyle's friend that's for sure!

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 06:45:14 GMT

Today has been a pretty good day all around. I had my Mary Kay debut, most of the people showed up. I made $209, that was awesome. I was able to get my showcase and such. So now, I just have to get my order in!!!! And I will actually be all squared away.

The funny of the day happened tonight when Heather and I were at the bar. These fugly guys kept comming up to us, and I looked at this one at this one as Heather was giving me a help me look and said, "this is my girlfriend so buh bye." I about died, prolly would have had to be there but it was funny to see the guys face. On the nice side, I ran into Pingle at the bar, OMG he looked so fucking hot!!!!

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 08:20:41 GMT

I really just don't get some people. For all their maturity than can be pretty dumb. Oh well. On the positive side, things are going so much nicer with Shanon and I. I think it's gonna be ok. I sure do love him.

I am so excited that this Saturday is my Mary Kay debut!

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 07:49:17 GMT

Have I mentioned that I love Shanon lately??? Just checking. Things have been kinda weird this week. I haven't really felt like talking to anyone, or really doing anything. I am having a little confusion when it comes to Shanon though, but that's nothing new. Last week he made a comment about basically if he gets a new job than we are done. Then last night he was talking to me about how things are going to change soon so we can spend more time together? WTF? And then tonight while I was talking to him he said something about trying to call me Sunday. I will never understand boys! But what I do know is that my life just wouldn't be whole with out him, even though that sounds lame. I need to go to bed, something about working 10 hours at the shithole that makes one tired.

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 15:38:29 GMT

What attracts people to you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I can't believe that this is what I am according to the quiz. But, then again, maybe I am different now.

What is a girl to do???????

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 08:08:32 GMT

I was talking with Shanon today...it sounds like if he gets another job that will be the end of us. Has the past 2 years been nothing to him???? He says well I don't have a way down there...Like I can't drive up there? I mean what the fuck! I guess all I can do is enjoy the time that we have had together, and the time that we do have together, and there is nothing I can do if he decides that it's over. There are other fish in the sea I suppose, but unfortunately I just want to be with him. Grandma says he's wrestless and maybe that is really what it is. I just don't know.

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 08:02:36 GMT

Well, I finally tracked Shanon down at work today. He just wasn't answering the phone because he was afraid I was mad. And I should have been, but I wasn't. He told me what all happened and, I guess I am just understanding. I feel bad, because he is having an awful week again. He talked to me about quitting again today, and that makes my heart sink every time he says it. I guess I am just afraid that it will be over if he quits. But, if it is, then it just wasn't meant to be I guess. But I sure as hell am going to enjoy the time that I do have with the man that I love. God, I wish you could help who you fall in love with sometimes. But u can't, and I can attest to that one for sure.